If a book is really good, it doesn’t take long to start rooting for the hero. We want her to win, crush the people who destroyed her life, save her people for the big bad guy, and not die in the process. No matter how many times she makes a bad call or a plan goes terribly wrong, we love her anyway. We still want her to come out on top at the end (and God-help the author who doesn’t make that happen in the end!).
So why is it that when it comes to our own real-life story we tend to give up on the hero too soon?
If you read my latest newsletter you know this already but just in case you don’t I’ll catch you up: I’m going through a divorce. Like a character in my favorite book, I thought life was good until it wasn’t. You try everything you can to get life back to ‘normal’. After plenty of stumbles and plans gone awry, I realized that my life was not going to be the way it was.
And it sucks.
Sure there aren’t mythical creatures trying to get me or an entire planet to save but my world was crumbling all the same. I felt like I couldn’t move on, that I’ll always be stuck in that dark, hurtful place. I can’t go back but have no idea how to move forward. I want to be happy but in the midst of all the hurt and sadness, I’m not sure how. I need a hero but the only person that I can save me is me.
It can be super hard to root for yourself, right?
Especially if you feel solely responsible for everything that’s happening to you. Maybe you are and maybe you aren’t (or a little bit of both, too). What matters now is what you do going forward. What’s helping me is doing what our favorite heroes do when they feel like giving up is finding someone to fight for. Is there a cause you’re passionate about? A loved one who means the world to you and needs you to be happy?
For me, it’s my two little girls. When I feel like things are just way too hard or I’m doing a crappy job I look to them. My 5 year-olds culinary creations or my 1-year old’s gummy smile reminds me to push through and try to create the best possible world I can for all of us.
So if a loss of someone or something dear to you has you feeling lost and hopeless, treat yourself like the hero you are.
Root for yourself.
Fight for your right to be happy.
The world would be a whole lot better if you did.